growing up

endless.

I get it. It's time for me, or everyone else for that matter to grow up. But it isn't as easy for me as it may be for everyone else.

To me, growing up =

1. Losing old friends

2. Stepping out of my comfort zone

3. Making a change

Making a change is easy. It's the first steps you have to take to make that change that scares me.

I mean, this blog itself is me stepping out of my comfort zone. But I needed to start somewhere.

Life bugs me sometimes. Some nights when I can't sleep I end up getting annoyed with my heart beating. In the dead of the night, the only sound I could hear was my heart madly thumping away, which causes me to focus solely on the sound of it beating, worsening my insomnia. The irony, hating the sound of something that is keeping you alive.

On other nights, I wake up from weird dreams that I have no recollection of and end up wrecking my brains just trying to recall what the dreams were about. I really should get a copy of Stigmund Freud's interpretation of dreams.

Everyone has their bad days, so I'm not trying to be a whiney prat complaining about life. But life has had its surprises like randomly finding a hammy on the pavement with baby, who was screaming madly when I just randomly ran across the road and picked up something strange from the ground when I saw the hammy.

It really took me by surprise when mummy decided to keep the hammy. I guess she could sense my fear of it eventually dying and chose to keep it to give me a push to make a change in my life. So I've decided to take care of him too, and his name is Pompom. I guess his birthday is the 12th of feb since that was the day I found the lucky bugger. He is super cute, even though my grandmother keeps insisting that his a rat because his too big to be a hamster.

Pompom.

I am grateful, because I once again have company when I spend long, lonely, scary nights alone. The noise he makes when he runs on his wheel just gives me reassurance, that I'm not the only person left in the world.